I grew up with Tumblr quotes and Thought Catalog articles before the existence of Instagram. After a mass migration to the new platform, many writers shot to fame after sharing their work on Instagram. Morgan Harper Nichols and Rupi Kaur are examples of successful poets with millions of Instagram followers, and I can see why — their appeal lies in relatability. These wordsmiths have the ability to put feelings that the rest of the population cannot articulate into words. It creates a sense of connection with the readers, something that mankind innately longs for.
Over the past few years, mental health and self awareness has been a trending topic, and I noticed a name that constantly appeared on Instagram — Yung Pueblo. His poetic work focuses on themes of healing, which is highly relevant to many of us. This led me to dive into his latest book “Clarity & Connection”.
“Give love, but don’t exhaust yourself.
Be peaceful, but don’t become passive.
Have patience, but don’t settle for less.
Trust yourself, but don’t develop arrogance.
Be open to love, but don’t force a connection.
Have goals, but don’t chase after each craving.”
Here are 7 insights that I have gleaned from this piece of literature:
1. Time Does Not Heal All Wounds, Intentional Reflection Does
“It sometimes feels as though time has helped us heal, but all it has really done is teach us to live with the wound. Just because we have stopped thinking about the harm of the past does not mean it is fully healed. The passing of time allows what was first on a conscious level to sink deeper into the mind where it becomes a quiet yet powerful lever that forces us to behave a certain way.”
Instead of getting used to pain, we should lean into it and cut the toxic cycle from its root. It is difficult for thorough healing to happen without intentionality.
“It takes intentional action that arises from self-awareness to break old habits that keep us from thriving.”
2. Be Patient With The Healing Process
We accumulate patterns over the years, and even decades. Quoting Yung Pueblo, “After years of repeating the same behaviours, it takes time to change and adopt new responses to life.” Letting go of the old takes time, which is why patience comes into play. We should celebrate mini victories instead of only recognising full healing as success and anything less as failure. “Do not think in extremes; the answer is rarely all or nothing.”
We do not have to start our lives only after we are “fully healed”. The truth is, we will never be “fully healed” in this lifetime. We are worthy to love and be loved while we are still a work-in-progress.
“Throw away the idea that you need to pause your life until you are fully healed; this is a different way of being attached to perfection… You can simultaneously heal your past while being open to the present.”
Most importantly, “Heal at the pace you know is right for you.”
3. It Is Ok To Let Go Of Relationships That Do Not Serve You
This may be more relevant for relationships that do not involve blood ties or a covenant. People change and dynamics of relationships will change as well. If we have expanded way beyond the relationship, then maybe, moving out of it would be freeing for both parties.
“Feeling once again all of the reasons why I decided to move on. The joy was empty and what was once fun fell flat. I could not live comfortably in a home too small for my recent expansion.”
4. Setting Boundaries Is Not Selfish
When in doubt, remember you have:
- The power to say no
- The authenticity to be you
“Save your energy so that you can accomplish the goals at the top of your list. Those attuned to inner work will understand and respect your right to say no.”
“Be strong enough to have clear boundaries and have an awareness of when you need more fuel.”
Taking care of yourself is not selfish, people who truly care for your well-being will respect your boundaries.
5. Let Go Of Attachment And Control
Attachment and control is an illusion and one of the causes of unhappiness. If we can recognise the fact that we cannot control everything, then we will be more accepting when things do not go our way. Attachment and control go hand in hand, so it is helpful that we do not attach our happiness to an outcome.
“When you create something, do not watch its progress with attachment and anxiety, create it and let it go.”
“We know that something is a preference or a simple desire when we do not have the fate of our happiness connected to its realisation. We know it is a preference when things do not happen the way we want them to and we accept this reality without the intensity of pain or hurt; we know something is an attachment when we feel mental tension, pain, and misery when we do not get what we crave.”
6. Your Reaction Can Be A Projection Of The Past
“Too many of us project our old conditioning onto new situations. Reactions happen quickly and we are based on past perceptions; they make it challenging to process what is happening in an unbiased and objective manner.”
This resonated so much with me. We see the world through the lens of our past, which might distort our perceptions and make it difficult to be unbiased and objective toward a situation. Understanding that is helpful in the process of letting go.
On the flip side, this applies to others’ reactions to situations as well. This realisation helps me to process exaggerated reactions from others in a more empathetic way.
“How people perceive you is more reflective of their inner mechanics than your actions.”
7. The Only Constant Is Change, So Be Present
Quoting Yung Pueblo, “Much of our internal struggle comes from not embracing change.” Once again, this is an easy concept to grasp but difficult to execute.
We are constantly preparing for the future that we miss the present, we often forget that the journey is as important as the destination.
“Our anticipation of the future gets in the way of our awareness of the present, A mind that is half in the future is partially consumed in a dream — a dream that can only become real through honouring what is in front of us in the here and now.”
In conclusion, Yung Pueblo has brought much clarity with simple theories to release the emotional baggages in our lives. Though some points are difficult to work through, there are certainly simpler things that we can do for a start. For me, I will work on being patient and present. How about you?
Keywords
Attachment: It is not having desires, goals, or personal preferences. It is the mental tension you feel when you do not get exactly what you crave; it is refusing to accept change or let go of control.
Happiness: It is not fulfilling every pleasure of getting every outcome you desire. It is being able to enjoy life with a peaceful mind that is not constantly craving more. It is the inner peace that comes with embracing change.
Holding space: Higher level of listening that involves acting as a compassionate audience for another person without interrupting or adding our own perspective.
Selfless listening: Hearing someone’s truth without projecting one’s own emotion or story onto it.
